Be My Brownie

I know I shouldn’t be having these feelings so quickly and that I should just take it slow and whatever happens, happens, but I’m me…. and me won’t take things slowly. I’ll fcking jump on that right now if I could! LOL kidding… but omg, does he make me laugh. He fucking makes me laugh so much I don’t care if it’s just a text that I’m laughing and smiling like a fool at. Oh, if only I had the courage like I did back then… so naive. The things that I would’ve done already if I were me 5 years ago. That kinda courage has definitely disappeared somewhere, but I’ve still got some left. Just enough to let me not be afraid to maybe even love this guy because I can see that (even had a dream about it -_-). My friend said I was lucky to have found someone but really, I’ve known him for a while now and only recently did I start liking him… I think that’s a good thing though. It means I didn’t just jump on things and things just came naturally, right? Oh well…….. we’ll see where this goes. I’m not sure if I should do something… I just know 5 years ago, I would’ve done so much already. -_- and I thought when you grow older, you become braver.

Well, actually, I guess I am pretty brave considering what I’ve gone through and yet, I’m here, going through what started all of my suffering from before……. UGH. And that emo kid… if only he weren’t emo. I wonder what would’ve happened if I had decided to wait… probably nothing. His loss, though I have so much sympathy for him. I hope we become good friends in the future.


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